Overcoming Child Abuse and the effects it leaves on a person’s life can
often be a lifelong journey. However, the ability to understand why the
abuse occurred is the first step to your recovery. It’s not about blame – it
is about how to restore your self-image that was damaged in early
childhood.
Child Abuse changes who you are. If you are ever going to become the
person you were destined to be, you have to decide to let go of the past
and reach for the future. In reality, those words are easier said than
done. If you don’t understand what happened that caused your emotions
to be fragmented then you will always walk through life wondering what is
wrong with me.
A Way Out is a very candid look into my life. I finally had the courage to
be open and transparent about what happened to me. As a result of my
damaged self-image that was never recognized in childhood, my children
suffered greatly. They became part of the multitudes of individuals who
need to overcome the effects of child abuse. It's never too late, to restore
your self-image, but it takes perseverance to overcome what has been so
ingrained in your soul - (your mind, your will and your emotions).
often be a lifelong journey. However, the ability to understand why the
abuse occurred is the first step to your recovery. It’s not about blame – it
is about how to restore your self-image that was damaged in early
childhood.
Child Abuse changes who you are. If you are ever going to become the
person you were destined to be, you have to decide to let go of the past
and reach for the future. In reality, those words are easier said than
done. If you don’t understand what happened that caused your emotions
to be fragmented then you will always walk through life wondering what is
wrong with me.
A Way Out is a very candid look into my life. I finally had the courage to
be open and transparent about what happened to me. As a result of my
damaged self-image that was never recognized in childhood, my children
suffered greatly. They became part of the multitudes of individuals who
need to overcome the effects of child abuse. It's never too late, to restore
your self-image, but it takes perseverance to overcome what has been so
ingrained in your soul - (your mind, your will and your emotions).
Brad Henry -Governor of Oklahoma - "Child abuse is not a topic that is often, the
tragedy of child abuse perpetuates itself, a vicious cycle in which courage and
determination to make a real difference. It is my hope that her book can help break the
cycle of child abuse and provide a measure of comfort to those who are impacted by
this societal ill."
David L. Boren - President, Oklahoma University - "This book, written with so much
courage and insight will give courage and inspiration to others. Some day, the cycle of
child abuse will be ended as our society is awakened by this book which is such an
effective call to action."
Bill LaFortune - Former Tulsa Mayor - "The unfortunate and shocking truth of the
vicious cycle of abuse is all too obvious in the number of men and women that today
are warehoused in prisons. Perhaps a book such as this can be used to break this
cycle by informing and educating parents, children and the general public on what they
should look for and avoid. Then and only then, will our children once more be treated
as our most prized possessions."
Bob Losure - Former CNN Anchor - "You have tackled the issue of abuse head-on,
and I applaud you. You are going to inspire many to free themselves from years of
secrecy about their own imprisonment with abuse, and inspire still others to be
vigilant in actively identifying those who are crying out inside for someone who will
help them."
John Venturella - Profile Press, The Bair Foundation - "The awesomeness and
miracle of the human spirit's ability to survive shines through each page. This is a
book worth reading, a book that celebrates the human spirit as it soars through the
pain and fear of being a victim and grows into the joy of becoming the victor."
tragedy of child abuse perpetuates itself, a vicious cycle in which courage and
determination to make a real difference. It is my hope that her book can help break the
cycle of child abuse and provide a measure of comfort to those who are impacted by
this societal ill."
David L. Boren - President, Oklahoma University - "This book, written with so much
courage and insight will give courage and inspiration to others. Some day, the cycle of
child abuse will be ended as our society is awakened by this book which is such an
effective call to action."
Bill LaFortune - Former Tulsa Mayor - "The unfortunate and shocking truth of the
vicious cycle of abuse is all too obvious in the number of men and women that today
are warehoused in prisons. Perhaps a book such as this can be used to break this
cycle by informing and educating parents, children and the general public on what they
should look for and avoid. Then and only then, will our children once more be treated
as our most prized possessions."
Bob Losure - Former CNN Anchor - "You have tackled the issue of abuse head-on,
and I applaud you. You are going to inspire many to free themselves from years of
secrecy about their own imprisonment with abuse, and inspire still others to be
vigilant in actively identifying those who are crying out inside for someone who will
help them."
John Venturella - Profile Press, The Bair Foundation - "The awesomeness and
miracle of the human spirit's ability to survive shines through each page. This is a
book worth reading, a book that celebrates the human spirit as it soars through the
pain and fear of being a victim and grows into the joy of becoming the victor."
$20 Hard Cover
267 pages
267 pages
$7 Digital
Download
Download
Please include email address when payment is made.
Digital download will be sent to your email address
after payment is confirmed.
Please allow 24 to 48 hours.
Digital download will be sent to your email address
after payment is confirmed.
Please allow 24 to 48 hours.
By the time you finish the book, you should
have a better understanding of why you
have suffered for so long and what you can
do to be on your way to recovery.
I stand in agreement with you that your best
days are ahead.
have a better understanding of why you
have suffered for so long and what you can
do to be on your way to recovery.
I stand in agreement with you that your best
days are ahead.
Victoria Lee
Oklahoma
Author
Host of
Making It
Happen TV
Oklahoma
Author
Host of
Making It
Happen TV
Is Depression a way of life?
Purchase either the hardcover or digital download.
And if you need someone to talk to, we are only an
email away.
And if you need someone to talk to, we are only an
email away.
"A Way Out" will help you understand.
| Call 918-398-0391 |
In Spite of Neglect,
Physical, Sexual, Verbal,
and Emotional Abuse,
"It's Never Too Late,
To Restore Your Self-Image.
Physical, Sexual, Verbal,
and Emotional Abuse,
"It's Never Too Late,
To Restore Your Self-Image.
| It was a hot, humid July day in the mid-western town of Tulsa, Oklahoma. I had just turned four years old. I tried to spend most of my time outside or alone in my room. Even as a small child I knew things weren’t quite right at my house. The only thing that made me feel safe was to crawl inside the little shell of silence I had created. I was a timid, shy and somewhat fearful little girl. I had always been small and fragile looking with long blonde hair and blue eyes that longed for a constant, secure place in which to belong. One day, I was held captive in a parked car, while my cousin, Clyde, who was an adult and married, violated me. Without any concern for my well being, he forced me repeatedly to perform sexual acts. I was terrified. I remember being trapped inside his car and feeling as if everything inside of me was about to crawl through the pores of my skin. There was nothing I could do to free myself. Clyde was the typical overweight "Bubba" sort of guy with straight, brown hair parted on one side and beady brown eyes that seemed to pierce through me like a lightning rod. And there I was, a little girl, unable to keep this horrible man from hurting me. All I could do was stare into space and wait for the dreadful experience to end and then sheepishly slide out of the car as he opened the door and signaled my departure. Over a series of months I had to repeat the agonizing experience over and over again. He had found an easy target that he was quite sure would never become a problem for him and would keep his evil desires fulfilled. Three years later on a warm summer afternoon, I was once again staring into the eyes of this vile man who had arrived at Grandma's house. I had been entertaining Grandma Minnie by turning somersaults in the front yard, while she sat on the porch enjoying the weather. When I saw Clyde get out of his car and start walking up the steps, I knew what he had come to do. He proceeded to explain to Grandma that he wanted to take me for a fun- filled afternoon and motioned for me to hurry and get in the car. To Grandma it seemed like a wonderful idea and to her he was simply displaying the actions of a caring older cousin. In fact, she was proud of him for offering such a kind gesture. An overwhelming surge of courage mixed with a massive amount of terror came exploding out of me. As I hung on to her arm in a frightful attempt for safety, I begged Grandma, "Please don't make me go with him again, please, please Grandma." She was shocked at my behavior and began asking why I was reacting so dramatically. As I look back on that day I can easily understand the pain she must have endured as she listened to the pleading cry of one grandchild against another. She wanted desperately to protect me and yet the one she was protecting me from was her own flesh and blood. Grandma didn't let a day go by before she called a family meeting. As I waited for the meeting to begin, I felt like I had died a thousand deaths. I was seven years old, shy and frightened. All the adults in the family were gathered at Grandma's house waiting for me to speak. It was almost as if I, too, was looking on in anticipation for another little girl to emerge, when in fact I was the one. I longed to be released from this horror but it wasn't easy to form the words. I was frozen with fear. A million thoughts began racing through my mind. "Would this cruel man try to hurt me again later because I told? Would anybody even believe me? Would they all hate me?" But worst of all, "Would I be able to live with the shame knowing that everyone knew?" Grandma began gently questioning me about what had happened but I couldn't get the words to flow from my mouth. Tears began to stream down my face as if a faucet had been turned on full blast inside my soul. I hung my head in shame and my whole body began to shake in fear and humiliation. I cried out, "Please don't let him touch me again. I'm so afraid to be alone with him." Mama was sitting not too far away, in a corner staring at me with a hint of disbelief. I could imagine the questions running over in her head as she wondered what I was desperately wanting to tell. Clyde and his wife, Ellen, as well as his mother and dad sat speechless around the kitchen table. I deeply loved Aunt Marie and it broke my heart to see her eyes questioning mine. I felt like I was being swallowed up in a sea of eyes that were focused intently on me and all I could do was cry. Finally, they all started talking. The voices seemed muffled as I shut my eyes and tried desperately to put the situation far from me. For a few minutes, I couldn't distinguish one voice from the other, until I heard Ellen speak up. "I saw Clyde in Victoria's room last week, but nothing really happened." "Oh no," I thought, "Do they really think nothing happened? It's true nothing happened that day, except that he terrified me with his overbearing power." I knew then that I was in an uphill battle. Why would anyone believe that he had been forcing me to do all those horrible things when I couldn't find the strength to explain what they were? After all, Clyde was a family man with a wife and three little girls of his own that he loved and cherished. At least that's what everyone thought. He did have a certain charisma about him. When he laughed everyone chimed in with what seemed to be a joyous exchange of humor. Yet no one knew Clyde the way I did. The meeting ended with Clyde getting a slap on the wrist, so to speak, and being told to stay away from me. That was more for his sake than mine. I, on the other hand, walked away feeling every bit violated, defeated, shameful and very much alone - more reasons to withdraw into my shell of silence. |
Hy Victoria,
I've just finished reading your book "A way out". I was so gripped by the
story line I could hardly put it down. Its hard to see how anyone could
take such abuse and live, and not only survive it, but stay sane and be
such a lovely loving lady as you are. I thank God that your experiences
never made you bitter, but gave you insight, understanding and empathy
towards other's sufferings.
The book surely is a testimony of God's ability to keep us and His plans
for us safe, and how He turns all things around to good.
It helped me to see how I too have endured abuse, not physical but
emotional and how understanding who we really are in the Lord and His
perception of us helps us to overcome all the past insecurities that have
caused us to become 'victims' instead of 'victors'.
Thank you so much for being so honest and open and sharing your
heart-rending story with the world.
God bless
Shirley
Your Friend in England
I've just finished reading your book "A way out". I was so gripped by the
story line I could hardly put it down. Its hard to see how anyone could
take such abuse and live, and not only survive it, but stay sane and be
such a lovely loving lady as you are. I thank God that your experiences
never made you bitter, but gave you insight, understanding and empathy
towards other's sufferings.
The book surely is a testimony of God's ability to keep us and His plans
for us safe, and how He turns all things around to good.
It helped me to see how I too have endured abuse, not physical but
emotional and how understanding who we really are in the Lord and His
perception of us helps us to overcome all the past insecurities that have
caused us to become 'victims' instead of 'victors'.
Thank you so much for being so honest and open and sharing your
heart-rending story with the world.
God bless
Shirley
Your Friend in England
First Chapter
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